Explaining

 

with-in 10 mins of posting my last post I already had someone asking me what is wrong. I did not mean to offend anyone or hurt anyone's feelings. I do thank you for caring enough to call and ask though.. but, Nothing is wrong.

Here is what has happened to explain where I am coming from.. (this is only a few examples)

it has been over 6 months since a friend has invited me to do something with them. Other than a group activity such as a holiday party or get together with multiple people, I have not had on single friend ask me to dinner, shopping, or even just lunch at their house. This is confusing to me. Anything we do, it is because I invited them. Because I made the effort. Because I miss them. I wonder why? I tell myself they are busy but then I hear they did this or that with this or that person. On top of that, I invite them to EvErYThInG.. because I enjoy them.. so I take it they do not enjoy me (hint.. falling into a negative slump)

I share a ton with my friends.. good/bad/stupid/important.. I want to tell them because I would want to know these things about them. For a year now I have watched the “sharing” dwindle. people don’t want to share their life with me.. so, I began to question if I am being to open (hint.. this is part of where I decided I am open and should become more private.. this was not the reason I decided this though. I have felt as if I should be more private for years now.. it is just a small part of my decision)

These are just two examples and although they both have to do with my friends.. it isn’t just friends.. it is life in general.

I am 26 years old. I fell as though I am pretty much in the same spot as I was when I was 22 years old. Things are different though, I just try to keep them the same. SO now I will accept the different things and make the best out of how life is now. I don’t want to have my feelings hurt because I make time or the effort and others don’t. Maybe their effort is different than mine. Actually, I am sure their effort is different than mine. Maybe they no longer need me in their life.. sad or not, happiness can come from this. Being grateful for what was and happy with what is will get me way farther in life than being said that what is resembles nothing of what was. Make sense?  Again, it is life in general.. not just friends.

p.s. Zak and I are great! Actually better than ever, prob because I stopped thinking about everything and everyone else and decided my best friend sits beside me on the couch. My life is great the way it is and the way it is headed. My husband and daughter are the ones that matters.. we have always been good together but I feel as though now we are great together.

Nothing is wrong. I love you all. And this all came from me realizing what I am doing wrong in my life. and from the simple realization that life changes and I was fighting for the old life when my current life is wonderful regardless of the changes or the things I miss!