Getting Ready..

 

Lately, in the past few months, death has been on my mind. Not in a bad way but in a way where I never really thought about it. I am not saying I plan on or feel like I am going to die soon.. but.. You never know when it is “time”.

I have talked about how I want to be buried, what song I would love to have at my funeral/memorial service, how I’d like a bench instead of a grave. I have also talked with Zak on if we both die, where Mady would go, we need to make a Will asap. I have also decided that I am going to write Mady a letter (and Zak) and put it in a sealed envelope. If I die, I want it to be given to her when the time is right. I want her to have something from me to her if I am no longer here. Telling her the things I would want to tell her when I wouldn’t be able to tell her. Other things like, don’t bury me with my rings.. keep them, give them to Mady when she is older, or things like.. if I do die, please don’t feel afraid to fall in love again. I want Mady to have a Mother that loves her if I am not on earth to do so. I just feel like these are things I want people to know if I am not here. Just in case..

These are not sad things, I don’t look or think of any of this in a sad way. I just want to be prepared. I am open to talking about it. Some people don’t like to talk about it. I just have felt the need to think, talk, and do things. Is this weird? It sounds a little strange when I think about it, but it isn’t like it consumes me daily or anything.. just every once in a while.

I want to add.. I do not believe at all that the world will end in 2012.. I do believe I will one day be a Grandma and that is in the far far far future. I do believe and look forward to being that cute old couple (with Zak) who holds hands has they walk down the beach! I do believe my life has just begun! on that note: Death does not scare me.. (how I die may scare me a little when I start to think about it.. I really don’t want to die falling from something high.. or in the ocean.. or in a car wreck) anyways. What does scare me is the people that I would leave behind not knowing how I feel, what I want, my wishes and thankfulness to them during my life.

So, in my closet there is going to be a box of some sort.. this is where my letters will be found, my special things I want to pass down, my prized memories in photographs. This is where you (who ever it is) shall find the things I want my Family and Friends to know/have/see. Weird or not, if it ever did happen sooner than wanted, I believe that everyone would be thankful that I prepared for the unwanted and unpredicted moment.

p.s. please Celebrate my life because it has been amazing for the past 26 years and many more year to come!