You get all the credit Mom!!

This is kind of a 2/3 part post. They all have to do with each other and all are just as important as the other.

Part 1.. I have had to learn how to have a man in my life..
Part 2.. My chica thinks she is lucky
Part 3.. You get all the credit Mom



Part 1
Over half my life I have not had any type of relationship with my "sperm donor" (what some would call a dad) This is not about bashing him because honestly... my life has been wonderful with just my mom. What this is about is the only way I can see not having a dad affected me in my life..

All my life More than half.. lets just say .. The important years of a girl growing up, I just had my mom. She was/is amazing. I watched her hold down the fort, give us everything we asked for, give up everything for herself, and be the rock of our family. Through pain, hardship, and loneliness, she is how our family survived. Let me add this, our family survived great! She didn't speak bad words, she didn't have melt downs (in front of us at least), she never put herself first in any situation. She did the right things all the time in our eyes (as children, and still as an adult.. I do not think she did anything wrong) With this said.. Because she was amazing, it has caused me to be amazing also. (true statement) .. back to my point though..

Watching my mom be.. well.. everything, and do.. well.. everything (on her own) and not having a dad in the picture made me a strong women/mom. Since Zak has come into my life I have had to work on a few things. Like, being in charge. I do think this is part of my personality but I also think it is because I was not sure how a man fits into a woman's life. I didn't have that to watch. I just saw a strong women/mom doing what she had to do. Taking charge of her life/family. In psychologe we learned about how we become our enviroment. My enviroement was an indipendant women raising 2 girls without a man in her life. (of course there is more to my enviroment than that)

When Mady was born, I was really unsure on how to do things. I mean, I let Zak be the amazing dad he is but it was and still is a learning process for me. I have had to step back and allow him to do the dad thing his way. I stepped back from the time she was born when it came to him being a dad but I struggle with little things too. Such as; bed time.. what time I think she should go to bed.. luckily Zak and I agree on how to parent our daughter, with this said.. we do have differences.. I am more routine or strict or uptight.. I guess you could say.. (but not in a bad way I don't think).. and he is more laid back and.. well.. fun.. (lucky him) For a more detailed example: when it is time to get ready for bed, I say.. it is time to get ready for bed. Potty, brush your teeth, pjs, books, hair, lay down, music on, water in sippy, lay with chica, and good night. Zak on the other hand, wants to play, take his time, get destracted, move slow, and again PLAY.. now this could be because he works so much and doesn't have the time with her that I have.. this could be because to him, bed time can wait.. he is laid back.. everything doesn't have to go to plan or be on time.. (with him at least) This is a small situation I find myself having to step back.

In my eyes, mom knows best and mom does best. This is because my mom knew best and did best. That is all I have to go by. Is a dad really that involved in a child's life? I mean, I know dads are involved but to actually see it with my own eyes, my own husband, with our own child. It is amazing really. I could sit and listen to them talk for hours. I could watch him dress up with boas, play dolls, and teach her things all day long. It melts my heart.

Part 2
Tonight, chica and I were talking about how some people don't have dads, some don't have moms, some don't have a mom or dad. (We were watching a movie.. Miracle on 34th street, and the girl said she didn't have a dad) So during this discussion (by the way.. I have only had one moment where she asked me who my dad was.. it was random, unexpected, and I changed the subject) during this discussion, when we were talking about kids that only have a mom and they don't have a dad, she looked at me and said

Mady: I am lucky
me: why are you lucky?
Mady: because I have the best daddy. He loves me. He does things I want to do.
me: aww.. so in other words you love your daddy?
Mady: of course (I wish I could spell the way she says of course)
me: well, you will have to tell him that you are lucky to have him
Mady: yea. he will like that. :::and she hugs me:::

Her heart makes my heart so happy!

Part 1 again
Back to the me having to step back part. I have done a good job I think, considering I don't really have anything to go by. I am thankful for my mom in every way possible. I am thankful that she did do what she had to do. Be the best. Know the best. Teach the best. Help me grow to the best. I just have to learn that Zak, a husband, a dad, he too knows the best and does the best. Because, he is the best  :)


Part 3
Also, I see parents now a days that don't know what they are doing. Married couples with one kid and they can not handle their child. They can not teach their child. Honestly, in my eyes (I hate to judge) they are not very good parents. I am always thinking.. Dude, you need to take some lessons from my mom. She never spanked us (I was spanked 1 time in FL when I was 5) She never cursed us, She never was really angry. It could be because my sister and I were perfect .. just kidding.. but really.. She taught us about respect and honesty. She taught us how to fit in the world and grow up to be the people we want and are today. She did it with 2 kids, on her own. She gets more than kuddos and a pat on the back. She gets credit for doing something that married couples cant seem to come close to doing.

What I do know is this: because of who she was/is.. I will be wonderful too. I believe that she was/is wonderful because of her parents and their morals/teachings/God .. therefore.. I have a wonderful life ahead of me! 

It is like the saying.. When you see a "crazy person" .. follow them home, you will find a more "crazy parent"
which can be reversed..
When you see an "amazing mom/person" follow them home, you will find a more "amazing mom/person"



To Mom: you get credit for who you were/and are as a person and as a mom. You get credit for the 2 wonderful daughters you raised. You get credit for who I have become. You get credit for the Mom I am being. You get credit for the mother AND grandmother I will one day be. You get all the credit for all of it Mom!!

Taught by the best to become the best! (This should be our family motto)