And the survey says….

 

I like you windows live writer..

 

I just went back and redid a few of my blogs from the past week that were messed up. I was able to edit them easy, add the missing pictures, and publish in the same order they were in.

I might even go back to the very first of my blogging and redo the post with missing wedding pictures and such. I was super easy! Thank goodness.

I think we found a winner for right now!

 

Let the blogging continue. . . . . . . . .

 

Changing Blogging Programs

 

Until tonight I have always used blogger. or blogspot.com, Which ever one it is. For the past few month blogger has had a new “interface” and I continue to switch back to the old one every time. This has not affected my blogging until 2 days ago. Now I can not upload pictures the way I want. It doesn’t let me put the picture where I want it to be. Always posting the picture at the top of the blog and not allowing me to move it. I actually could name a bunch more things that are different in a bad way with blogger. So tonight, I am trying something new.

Right now I am on Live writer. I also have word press up and am looking into type pad. Do you have any suggestions on what works best. I really don’t want to pay for it though.

 

I am going to just add a few random things, play around, and post.. Then we will see how it works out. I do so far like that it looks like I am typing on my actually blog instead of in a white box. Also, it is telling me the words I misspell as I go. This is a good thing.

Wish me luck!

Well, that picture uploaded fast.. and I can resize it, move it, and see where it goes before I post it. Wonderful!

Look  at all the font choices!

Sooo far, sooo good! Now to publish and check it out..

New Blogs

In the past 2 days, I have begun 2 new blogs.

One of the blogs is set to private.. it is all drafts to be posted at another time. The day will come when it is public.. until then you just have to wonder, assume, and be creative.

The second blog is for my Chica. It is mainly just her photos. They are to great not to post. When you think about it, when you think about her behind a camera.. the reality is that we are looking at her photos. The world through a 4 year old's eyes. What she sees, loves, and thinks about. I am really excited about this blog for multiple reasons. I can not wait to see where it takes us in life. Even if it is just to review at the end of the year, it will be fun. I want her to be able to look back at the talent she has as a child. As she gets older and questions herself or her abilities.. I want to be able to say look Mady.. Look at how wonderful you were at 4. Not times that by 10.. You have had 10 more years since then to become that much more amazing..

I also know that family and some friends are interested in not just her view of life, not just her amazing talent, but also just what she does on a day to day basis.. Trust me, she takes a picture of everything. (and you thought I was bad)

So, here is the link to her photo blog.
Enjoy.. leave comments because I will for sure read them to her!

1st Trip to the Dentist

In my external hard drive, I keep a folder of Firsts .. Mady's first time standing in a crib.. her first birthday party she attended of a classmate.. her first carnival.. first time bowling.. Just recently I added her first dentist trip. As I was putting the pictures in the folder I realized I didn't post about it.

You guess it.. this is my post about her first Dentist trip..

I had been preparing her for a month ahead of time. Telling her what they would do. Explaining that the Dentist would count her teeth, tell her if she is a good teeth brusher, maybe even let her get something from a treasure chest if she did good. We even practiced opening our mouth wide enough to see inside.

A week before it was time, Mady started getting anxious. Wanting to know if I could be with her the entire time. Wanting to know if she had to lay down in the chair. She did not want to lay down in the chair. I think she felt as though she would be vulnerable if she laid down. I can understand that though.

The day came. I was actually calm about it. I just knew she was going to do great. I could see she was a little nervous. She gets quite when she is nervous, but she didn't tell me no or anything. Off we went to the dentist.

December 7th 2011 - Her first Dentist trip

She did wonderful when we got back there. Climbed in the chair, talked with the dental assistant, even spoke to the dentist on a level that he could hear her. This too is a big deal! She usually whispers to strangers. They layed the chair back and she layed back sort of. Her back laid back but her head stayed up. I motioned at her that she could lay back, it would be alright. The Dentist told her to open her mouth and he looked at her teeth. Beautiful teeth he said! Just perfect! Then he said his good byes and walked away. Next it was time for the cleaning. Oh crap.. I did not prepare her for this. I wasn't sure they would do this on her first visit. She layed there with her mouth open wide wide wide before the assistant even was ready. I giggled because it was so funny and cute at the same time.

The assistant gave her the "kissy thing" a suction hose and let her hold it. She showed her how to do it, and Mady did it one time. Then she got out the cleaner (I have not yet learned in school what it is actually called) This is when I saw it. I watched from her feet to her head tense up. She actually shook. I didn't jump up because I didn't want to answer to her reaction. She sat up and looked at me like "help". I walked to her, kneeled beside her and held her hand. She was climbing through the cords and over the arm to get to me. Crying LOUD and saying mommy mommy. She does not say Mommy Mommy when she cries unless she is in some type of trouble.. Like time out. She was saying it though, as if the world was about to end. It was pure fear in her cry. My heart dropped. Dropped to the floor and never came back. This is exactly what I prayed not to happen. Come on God.. I really didn't enjoy the moment of this! It actually still makes my heart hurt when I write this. Ugh..  Anyways. I sat on the chair with her in my lap. We watched another girl get her teeth cleaned. Mady was still not having it. The assistant decided it would be best to come back in March to try again. March, only 3 months away. Will she be ready? Half of me wants just have her wait until I am an assistant.. then she can come to where I work. She has healthy teeth, no cavities, and the Dentist said everything looks great. We will see when March comes what happens.  Until then, we will continue to brush, floss, mouth wash, and talk about the Dentist.

So the Dentist was a win/fail. I was proud of her though. She did everything we prepared for. I know how she is about things. I love her for who she is. I understand the unknown makes her nervous.. wonder where she gets that from? As Zak says.. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree 

^ Before the Dentist ^

Funny side note: In the picture on the left.. she is holding her fingers.. I do the exact same thing at the Dentist office because I am a little nervous. I am nervous because I don't want it to hurt. I actually enjoy the Dentist.. I love the feeling of my teeth after a cleaning BUT, I still get nervous when I sit in the seat and I too hold my fingers.. Weird!



I got my Santa Pic!!

On Mady's first Christmas she was 4 months old. Still a little tiny cute thing. When December rolled around in 2007, I was excited to do the "Mom" thing. I remember packing her diaper bag, putting her little holiday dress on that I searched for days for, loading her up in the car, and heading to see Santa Clause. Little did I know that would be the last time I had a Santa picture... Until This Year!!!

She has always been afraid of Santa at the mall. Last year she actually stood at the mall multiple times waving to him. Never wanting to go in, never wanting to speak to him, never wanting him to come close to her.. just a simple heart felt wave. This was fine with me. Although I wanted that Santa Picture, I know my chica.. and it is ok if she wants to wave. I have the memories of her waving so calm and shy at him. My sweet innocent girl. This year though, my picture happened. Mady began telling me in November that she was going to sit in Santa's lap. I encouraged it but I also second guessed it. I knew when we got there she would motion me down to her level, whisper in my ear with her little fingers to her mouth, and say she just wants to wave to him. When the day came, we invited Pax and Kristen. (our best friends) .. Mady had already told me she wasn't going to talk to him.. but she was going to sit in his lap, smile for a picture, and maybe get a candy cane. I didn't have any expectations but I still packed up my purse, put her in her little holiday outfit that I searched weeks for, and loaded her up in the car. We arrived before Kristen and Pax. She stood there waiting, watching, and waving at Santa.

Pax and Kristen arrived, it was time to go in! We decided to do separate pictures and then together pictures. Pax was up first. As she walked in, Pax got shy.. This is not normal.. This is not Pax. She gets she here and there but she had already sat in Santa's lap.. she wanted "Nady" to come too. I am pulling out my camera to walk in with Mady and I look up, She has already walked through the doorway.. passing Kristen, passing Pax.. with no hesitation or stop.. she doesn't even look back at me for the comforting go ahead.. and boom.. she plops herself right up on Santa's lap. She smiles at the lady.. perfection! She does listen to Santa but no talking.. then pax gets up next to her. They sit there together.. like best friends.. almost sisters.. I love them so much! Afterwards, Mady got a reindeer hat.. her and pax ran around the mall area as happy as could be.

I was so proud of her! She overcame a fear.. She accomplished a goal of her own.. She grew up..

I just realized that the first one was at 4 months old and the second one was at 4 years old. That is kind of cool! Sorry the current one is bad quality.. I just snapped a quick pic on my (dumb) phone from the frame the picture was in. It looks much better in person.. I promise!!

She passed 2nd grade English!

I have not really bragged about how smart my chica really is. I figure the people that know her.. I mean really know her, understand her genuineness. They are the people that really matter when it comes to that but today is a little different. I have to brag!

Christmas Eve 2011
Chica passes 2nd grade Math
Remind you, she is only 4 years old

While we are in a car, we usually play the game "Can you find the letter (insert letter)"
On this day, I think she got bored with the letter game. Instead it was "what does (insert letters) spell?"
So across the street is Aaron's.  The rental place for I guess everything.. I have never been in there. After asking me what it spells, she asked why it had the little mark before the S. So, being the awesome teaching mother that I am.. so I like to pretend to take the credit for all her smartness I explain to her that it shows possession. I explained that if it is 's that means something belongs to it. I then gave an example. We are going to Daris' house (in her head.. she thought 's.. I didn't explain if something ends in S) anyways. I told her that the house belongs to Daris. Then I gave her another sentence. Grandbob's guitars are loud. She tells me the guitars belong to Grandbob. Next sentence. Kristen's puppy plays outside. She tells me the puppy belongs to Kristen. She tells me this stuff with out any help or provocation (word?? provocation??) We go over sentence after sentence and she gets it. She really really honestly truly understands it. 

This was a bind blowing moment for me. She concepts things so easy. I know she is smart. I know her memory is brilliant. I know her thought process is amazing.. She is smart, brilliant, and amazing. It makes me wonder how easy school may come to her. I struggled with everything in school Spelling; yea, wait for my next post about the words I sill can not spell at the age of 26. Just in this post I have 26 misspelled words.  Math; anything above multiplication and adding.. I am clueless. I can't even use a calculator because I don't know the formula. (Oh crap.. I have math this coming quarter. I am screwed!!)  History; ha. that is a joke! Remembering the damn dates and people's names.. ugh! Brain overload. I still don't think I could name 10 presidents. Important dates like World War I and II, I have no idea.  I don't even know who we were in battle with.

Pretty much what I am saying is that my 4 year old is on the same smart level as I am. Heck, this girl could probably do my homework for me. This is a blessing though. I am jealous of her smart little brain but I'd rather her have it than me. Now, say a little prayer that she gets into the right school that will increase her smartness, challenge her knowledge, and encourage her to succeed. It is in God's hands that she is in the right school but prayers always help!!

reading

 

Christmas 2011

After preparing, being patient, and getting excited about.. Christmas 2011 was here! We knew our Celebration would begin just like every year. Christmas Eve at my Mom's house with my side of the family, Christmas Morning at our house with just Chica, Husband, and myself, and then Christmas Day at my Sister-in-law's house with Zak's side of the family.

 

We decided a few years ago that Celebrating this way was much easier and enjoyable on us. We don't have to rush with either side of the family and we still get plenty of time alone Christmas Morning, which I think is very important for families to do especially with young kids. The running around can get exhausting but this was the 24 hour celebration is calm, cool, and collected!  which is how I need it

 

Christmas Eve

 

Food, Presents, Laughter, Family Photos (not yet uploaded.. come on mom.. Picasa those pictures.. don't you know it has been 24 hours since you took them..j/k.. take your time.) What more can you ask for on Christmas Eve?

 

So, I am going to say our favorite presents.. although everything was amazing, wonderful, and awesome!!

 

When asked on the way home:

Mady:  "ear muffs but my dolls are beautiful and one is Chinese so that is really cool"

Zak: pillow

Me: little forks, spoons, and knifes

 

When asked this morning:

Mady: "camera. I just can't believe it. I have a camera"

Zak: the lights for my car and still the pillow

Me: the mini strainer, pourer thing, mini forks, ramekins, all the kitchen stuff really.. wait.. I sound like my mom..  rewind.. I love my frames!

 

When asked tonight:

Mady: "my bird cage because it is a place for the birds so they don't fly away"

Zak: to bad Rice Box is closed tomorrow night, the Sushi board is really cool

Me: the Bedding.. it looks great! The candles smell wonderful.. and the sheets.. Oh I can't wait to sleep

 

 

 

 

After my mom's house, we headed home to put out cookies, do the Advent Calendar, Read books, and go to bed. It was 12:30 (yes.. after midnight) before Mady went to bed. Then it was time for Santa!

 

Playing Santa is one of the best parts of having a child at Christmas. I sneak in the living room with the presents. (Like she is going to catch me or something) my heart beating fast. I eat the cookies and gulp down the milk. Mr. Elf went back to Santa's workshop and Santa took the Pacies from last year.

 

 

 

 

Christmas Morning

 

It felt like it took me forever to fall asleep. I was so excited for the morning! Next thing I knew, Mady was calling me. "Moooommmyyy... can I wake up?" This is what she says every morning if she is awake before I am. She doesn't come out of her room until I say it is ok. This I am thankful for!

 

I tell her to hold on a few seconds. I grab my camera, wake up Zak, brush my teeth, and make sure everything is in place. Last night Mady refused to wear her Christmas PJs. She wanted her puppy ones that Kristen got her a few months ago. So I yelled across the hall for her to put on her PJs then she could wake up. She yells at me that she is ready and Zak and I walk in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We did Santa presents first, next breakfast, then we sang Happy Birthday to Jesus, and then we went back to the presents and stockings!

 

 

 

Favorite Presents:

 

Mady: Barbie car

Zak: his emblems for his car.. not yet here but the are ordered!

Me: my Camera.. my new one! I got it a few nights ago but I love love it!

 

 

Christmas Day

We played for a little while, cleaned the house a little bit, and then headed to the Sister-in-law's house. I always look forward to spending time with Zak's side of the family because I don't get to see them much. We do Secret Santa since there are so many of us but of course Mady gets presents from everyone. One day though, one day.. she will be old enough to join in on the Secret Santa..

 

We had an Italian lunch.. pasta, bread, salad, lasagna.. omg. I loved it! One of the best Lunches at the Freeman/Sabin holidays by far!! I even took some home for dinner afterwards! it was good at dinner

 

Kelsey had me for Secret Santa, Michael had Zak (we missed Michael, we was sick and didn't make it)

 

Favorite gifts..

 

On the way home:

Mady: "you know, I really really like my tent but I think it will be even more cool with the lady bug light in it.. I can just lay in it and look at the stars all night"

Zak: (he wasn't in the car so I don't have his answer from on the way home)

Me: the Child that the Parent-in-laws got us. They sponsored a child for each of us for the first year and after that we sponsor the child. Our child is 3 years old, birthday is in August, and she lives in Mexico. We can send letters, presents, pictures.. like a pin pal that we also donate to. She is in church has 4 brothers/sisters, lives with her parents, and is not yet in school. I have wanted to sponsor a child for as long as I can remember. This is going to be awesome. Plus, Mady and the child can write back and forth and who knows, maybe one day.. they can meet..  Wouldn't that be amazing?

 

Later in the night after all gifts are unpacked (all of Mady's gifts.. most of ours)

Mady: "the science books. they teach me and have a pin that teaches me. I already played with all the picnic stuff too. Mommy, I got barbies wanna see?" ::she pulls out the holiday barbies first:: "This one is like a beauty! I got a chef barbie too.. She has tiny stuff that goes with her and I have that in a special box so I don't lose it."

Zak: the meteorite.. "Who has a meteorite? YEA.. THIS GUY RIGHT HERE"

Me: my sheets at the moment.. I am so excited for new sheets! Plus, I love the color gray!

 

 

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JESUS

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL

AND TO ALL

A GOOD NIGHT!!

 

 

Christmas 2011.. you rocked!!

 

Think fast.. Santa Clause

It has been almost one year since Madyson gave her pacies away. For a few months, she was sleeping with them only at night time. When Christmas came, we had purchased a "big girl" bed for her since the toddler bed just wasn't cutting it. (She has a lot of stuffed friends that she sleeps with, we needed a bigger bed) We had already prepared her for no Pacies telling her that she needed to give them to Santa on Christmas Eve so he could take them to other boys and girls. This went very well might I add! She was happy to do it. She did say, here and there, that she really missed her white pacie with the green handle. yes she had favorites

When the pacy went away, the naps stopped also. She still has rest time anywhere from and hour to three depending on the day BUT she does not sleep. She has not slept since the pacies left, unless she accidentally falls sleep while playing which isn't often.

A few weekends ago we started decorating for Christmas. She had waited a week, staring at the Christmas boxes by the door that I had brought up with intentions of decorating the weekend before. Always asking "is this the night we decorate?". 

Zak and I turned on the Christmas music, added the skirt to the tree, and told her it was time. Her eye lit up as I lifted the top of the box. She started digging in. I was nervous because I was not sure where Mr. Elf was at and didn't want her to see him packed away. She was awaiting his arrival from the north pole.I would scout the box for any hand, foot, hat, or color of Mr. Elf... just waiting for her to see him before I did. I picked up a tin with the words Merry Christmas on it. It sure was a cute tin. As I am opening the tin slightly, I had a weird feeling that I wasn't supposed to be opening it, I saw them... I saw all of them and shut the tin fast while looking up to see if she had seen them. She was staring right at me. "Those are pacies mommy" Damn it, my heart sunk. I actually think my heart stopped for a second.. I couldn't breath. I knew at that moment I had ruined Santa Clause for my sweet innocent 4 year old. "We gave them to Santa last year, remember?" ok, it is my turn to say something.. speak Traci.. SPEAK! umm... Speak!!   "You are right! We did.. I wonder why he didn't take them?  Maybe he didn't know they were for him. Maybe we didn't put his name on it and he thought it was a present and didn't want to take a present from you."

She looks at me, I am looking at her.. believe me Mady.. please believe me.. she smile and takes the tin from me "we will have to put his name on it this year wont we. He needs to give them to other boys and girls" She set the tin under the tree and starts to walk back to the box. I turn to look in the box and there is Mr. Elf.. I grab him, slip him under my shirt, and casually RUN to my bedroom... slipping him under my bed..  

omg omg omg..

I wonder how long it will be until I slip up, make another Santa mistake, and have a smart child who doesn't believe my on the spot Santa recovery sentence..

Let me add this, I am 26 years old and STILL get presents from Santa because I still believe.. my chica better watch her self. if there is no santa, then there is no presents.. that is what I was always told!

What has Mr. Elf been doing so far?

What has the Mr. Elf been doing this December?

nothing but..

mischief

he arrived the night we decorated. I guess the stockings looked comfy and the Christmas decor told him it was time for his month long vacation. (The elfs have December off from toy making)

below is Mady just playing with him..

LaLa and Jason.. why did Mr. Elf drink all the milk?!

Mady says "he made a snow angel. Actually a sugar angel"

He climbed up the tree after decorating the entire tree with her shoes

(there were tons of shoes all over it, the pic just doesnt show it)

Midnight snack maybe?

Toilet papered the living room!

Tea party with bell barbie!

he had water and marshmellows in the tea cups!

Stay tuned more has happened and there is more to come!!

The Good, The Bad, The Thankfulness

The Good
School is over!
Presentations, papers, finals, and classes.. it is all over! I get a 1 month break! yipee!

The Bad

I am sick and Zak is sick. We have never been sick at the same time in the past 6 years.

The Thankfulness
I am thankful that so far, the weather has not been toooo bad. I want a white Christmas but that is it. I do not want coldness at all. Winter doesn't actually start until December 22nd this year. I pray to God that we have a mild mild winter. Today, it got up to 60 degrees! Stay that way winter! I want it to be 60 degrees all winter. I like spring, fall, summer, and winter isn't on my like list.   

Ice Ice Baby

As most of you know now, Nashville is in the top 3 places to go away from Chattanooga. Specifically the Gaylord Hotel. I love it there more than I can tell you. Other than the expensive food, everything is very worth the price. I actually think it is just as expensive as anywhere else.

When we stayed the weekend as the Gaylord a few months ago, we saw on a sign that the Dreamworks characters where coming for Christmas. Mady insisted that we see them a.s.a.p.

This past weekend, that a.s.a.p came! To Nashville we headed but just for the day which was depressing in a way. Mady even had a little melt down that night when she realized we were not "having a sleep over at the hotel" ..  poor girl.. I could have cried over it too honestly. O well, there is always next month!

First we headed down town. I knew if we didn't go to Demos' first, we would want to rush through the Gaylord as we obsessed about it in our heads. If you have not eaten there, please please do. We have been known to drive to Nashville just for Demos'. The steak is wonderful, the pasta is wonderful, the salad is wonderful, the rolls are wonderful, and the prices are wonderful.. Yumm Yumm!

After filling our stomachs to the max, we headed to the hotel.
She kept asking "are we there yet" until she saw:

The signs!!



When we got there a lady told me that in 30 mins there was a Shrek show for free. We headed to where the show was going to be fighting the crowd. When we arrived, it was packed. I knew we would not be able to see the stage from down below so I started looking around for another spot. BAM!! I found it. Right above us was a patio like thing on a building. I saw 2 people up there but could not figure out how to get up top. After walking around for a second, Zak found the stairs. The view was perfect. We could see and hear everything! Believe it or not, only one other family made their way up top. It was like we were vip or something. I loved the shrek Christmas show!

As we made our way to ICE, we stopped by to see a few of the characters

When we got to ICE, Mady experiences her first line. We waited 40 mins in this line.. she was very patient I must say! She could not handle Disney World though, thats for sure! Below is us waiting and waiting and waiting in a long long line.. Soooo worth it though!

and then.. it was time!!

Everything was made out of Ice.. EVERYTHING! It was amazing, beautiful, and freezing! 14 degrees to be exact. That is why we are in these blue smurf things. I didn't realize it would be so cold therefore I didn't think to bring gloves. We needed gloves and hats! Next time, I will be prepared!

Then we made it to the slide. She was so excited about the slides until it was her turn to go down it. I stayed at the bottom to take photos while Zak went to slide with her. When it was her turn I could see her saying no. I swear I could see a tear falling from her cheek. I knew Zak wouldn't make her go. See, I would have. I would have sat her on it, gave her a little push, and watched her smile at the bottom. Yes, that is mean I know.. but I also know she would love it. I also know she is like me and a fraidy cat. It is like the water slide. Once I pushed her down it, she loved it. Again though, I knew Zak wouldn't make her. That is fine though, I wasn't up there.. maybe it did look scary.. maybe I wouldn't have made her go. (they wouldn't let zak go with her) So I walked to the other side where I saw a smaller slide. She was sitting at the top of it. Alright!!

at the end of ICE was a beautiful Angel and Nativity scene. This was Zaks favorite, Mady's favorite, and my favorite. It was breathtaking! The pictures do not do it justice in the slightest!

Our walk back through the hotel was pretty. It was dark outside so all the Christmas lights were on. It was also extremely crowded. I have never seen so many people at that hotel before!

This is when the melt down about not sleeping over occurred.

(this is the picture right when the melt down started.. take a look at that face)

 After the melt down, we piled in the car and came back home to crash! It was a wonderful day. I want more of those days. Money well spent, memories made, and a very happy family. What more can you ask for? Other than a sleep over at the hotel.



We had the talk

For the past week or so, Mady has been going on and on about getting married and being a mommy. She is always saying "I am going to marry you Mommy.. I am going to marry Josh.. I am going to marry Gumps.." She wants to marry everyone. So I decided that it was time to sit her down and have the talk with her..

yes, the talk

for the ones that think I am crazy, I have to say.. she isn't too young to know the truth right? Don't you think she should know what she can and can not do.. As for the talk I am not talking about the birds and the bees.. I am talking about the shattering/heart breaking/dream crushing truth that she can not marry her family members. I mean, this is 2011 and we do live in TN, so I know some would argue about not being able to marry their family members. Anyways, so I sit her down and this is our convo:

Me: You know Mady. You can't marry your family. You can't marry your cousin, your grandpas, your uncles, or your daddy

Mady: can I marry you?

Me: no, not even me

Mady: well that would be silly if I wanted to marry a girl though.

(this is an entirely different talk down the road)

Me: to have a husband you first have find a friend. yall have to be best friends. Then you will fall in love with him. Then and only then, can you marry him.

Mady: so like Mason

Me: well, Mason isn't family.. so yes maybe Mason

Mady: he already is my best friend sometimes

::pause::

Mady: and you know what Mommy, I love Mason already!

Me: well, I think you need to be friends for a very very long time before you Marry him

Mady: and you know what is silly.. he already kissed me when I was 3. Now I am 4. So maybe he loves me even more.

Me: I am sure Mason loves you Mady but like I said, yall need to be friends for a very very long time

Mady: Mommy, I still wish I could marry you so that I can be with you forever.

Me: you don't have to marry me to be with my forever

Mady: but when I get married I will have my own house.

Me: maybe you can live next door to me and I can come over for dinner

Mady: Noo. Daughters don't cook dinner for their Mommy. You can cook me dinner though

Me: Well, daughters do cook dinner for their Mommy but I will cook you dinner too

Mady: talking about dinner makes me hungry. Can I have a snack?

These are just the most recent pictures of Mason and Mady that I could find.



You get all the credit Mom!!

This is kind of a 2/3 part post. They all have to do with each other and all are just as important as the other.

Part 1.. I have had to learn how to have a man in my life..
Part 2.. My chica thinks she is lucky
Part 3.. You get all the credit Mom



Part 1
Over half my life I have not had any type of relationship with my "sperm donor" (what some would call a dad) This is not about bashing him because honestly... my life has been wonderful with just my mom. What this is about is the only way I can see not having a dad affected me in my life..

All my life More than half.. lets just say .. The important years of a girl growing up, I just had my mom. She was/is amazing. I watched her hold down the fort, give us everything we asked for, give up everything for herself, and be the rock of our family. Through pain, hardship, and loneliness, she is how our family survived. Let me add this, our family survived great! She didn't speak bad words, she didn't have melt downs (in front of us at least), she never put herself first in any situation. She did the right things all the time in our eyes (as children, and still as an adult.. I do not think she did anything wrong) With this said.. Because she was amazing, it has caused me to be amazing also. (true statement) .. back to my point though..

Watching my mom be.. well.. everything, and do.. well.. everything (on her own) and not having a dad in the picture made me a strong women/mom. Since Zak has come into my life I have had to work on a few things. Like, being in charge. I do think this is part of my personality but I also think it is because I was not sure how a man fits into a woman's life. I didn't have that to watch. I just saw a strong women/mom doing what she had to do. Taking charge of her life/family. In psychologe we learned about how we become our enviroment. My enviroement was an indipendant women raising 2 girls without a man in her life. (of course there is more to my enviroment than that)

When Mady was born, I was really unsure on how to do things. I mean, I let Zak be the amazing dad he is but it was and still is a learning process for me. I have had to step back and allow him to do the dad thing his way. I stepped back from the time she was born when it came to him being a dad but I struggle with little things too. Such as; bed time.. what time I think she should go to bed.. luckily Zak and I agree on how to parent our daughter, with this said.. we do have differences.. I am more routine or strict or uptight.. I guess you could say.. (but not in a bad way I don't think).. and he is more laid back and.. well.. fun.. (lucky him) For a more detailed example: when it is time to get ready for bed, I say.. it is time to get ready for bed. Potty, brush your teeth, pjs, books, hair, lay down, music on, water in sippy, lay with chica, and good night. Zak on the other hand, wants to play, take his time, get destracted, move slow, and again PLAY.. now this could be because he works so much and doesn't have the time with her that I have.. this could be because to him, bed time can wait.. he is laid back.. everything doesn't have to go to plan or be on time.. (with him at least) This is a small situation I find myself having to step back.

In my eyes, mom knows best and mom does best. This is because my mom knew best and did best. That is all I have to go by. Is a dad really that involved in a child's life? I mean, I know dads are involved but to actually see it with my own eyes, my own husband, with our own child. It is amazing really. I could sit and listen to them talk for hours. I could watch him dress up with boas, play dolls, and teach her things all day long. It melts my heart.

Part 2
Tonight, chica and I were talking about how some people don't have dads, some don't have moms, some don't have a mom or dad. (We were watching a movie.. Miracle on 34th street, and the girl said she didn't have a dad) So during this discussion (by the way.. I have only had one moment where she asked me who my dad was.. it was random, unexpected, and I changed the subject) during this discussion, when we were talking about kids that only have a mom and they don't have a dad, she looked at me and said

Mady: I am lucky
me: why are you lucky?
Mady: because I have the best daddy. He loves me. He does things I want to do.
me: aww.. so in other words you love your daddy?
Mady: of course (I wish I could spell the way she says of course)
me: well, you will have to tell him that you are lucky to have him
Mady: yea. he will like that. :::and she hugs me:::

Her heart makes my heart so happy!

Part 1 again
Back to the me having to step back part. I have done a good job I think, considering I don't really have anything to go by. I am thankful for my mom in every way possible. I am thankful that she did do what she had to do. Be the best. Know the best. Teach the best. Help me grow to the best. I just have to learn that Zak, a husband, a dad, he too knows the best and does the best. Because, he is the best  :)


Part 3
Also, I see parents now a days that don't know what they are doing. Married couples with one kid and they can not handle their child. They can not teach their child. Honestly, in my eyes (I hate to judge) they are not very good parents. I am always thinking.. Dude, you need to take some lessons from my mom. She never spanked us (I was spanked 1 time in FL when I was 5) She never cursed us, She never was really angry. It could be because my sister and I were perfect .. just kidding.. but really.. She taught us about respect and honesty. She taught us how to fit in the world and grow up to be the people we want and are today. She did it with 2 kids, on her own. She gets more than kuddos and a pat on the back. She gets credit for doing something that married couples cant seem to come close to doing.

What I do know is this: because of who she was/is.. I will be wonderful too. I believe that she was/is wonderful because of her parents and their morals/teachings/God .. therefore.. I have a wonderful life ahead of me! 

It is like the saying.. When you see a "crazy person" .. follow them home, you will find a more "crazy parent"
which can be reversed..
When you see an "amazing mom/person" follow them home, you will find a more "amazing mom/person"



To Mom: you get credit for who you were/and are as a person and as a mom. You get credit for the 2 wonderful daughters you raised. You get credit for who I have become. You get credit for the Mom I am being. You get credit for the mother AND grandmother I will one day be. You get all the credit for all of it Mom!!

Taught by the best to become the best! (This should be our family motto)

The Good, The Bad, The Thankfulness

The Good
School is almost over. We have a 1 month break. Next quarter consist of Dental Science (which is actually A&P from the next up), Math (uugghhh.. I wish hope it is just like adding and subtracting), and Emergency Procedures. Tuesday and Thursday are the first classes and on Fridays is my 4 hours Emergency class. Good thing is, I will be getting home 2 hours earlier than I do now. Bad thing, I have to be there 2 hours earlier than I do now.

The Bad
I am no longer eating like the mom on No Ordinary Family. This is a good thing.. but the bad, I am still slacking. Something about the Holidays, being cold, and sushi. Golly geez I love some sushi. I just can not help myself. Actually, I help my self right to it, and the soy sauce. This has to stop. All my hard for for months and months, down the drain. Well, not really.. I have not gained but 5 pounds back. BUT.. I am not loosing the pounds plus I had to stop work out class for a while (school payment is more important than workout class) I am just going to be "goodish" for the month of December, not stress on it, and then December 26th.. back to the daily meals pre packed.. dandelion root water.. working out (at my home gym)

The Thankfulness
Thankful for my brain. I am super proud of my school grades.. still a 4.0 .. Today I got my first non 100 in Psychology but it is ok.. I got 5 extra points so that makes it a 99. The 99 is the lowest grade I have in that class. yep yep.. :)  I am thankful that my brain has decided it likes to learn and that it is able to learn. I am thankful that I can take test now. For the first time in my life, that I can remember, I actually know the answers because my brain absorbed the information. Thank you brain, for being smart!!  

It's begining to look a lot like Christmas

I love Christmas time. I love the spirit of Christmas. I love having my Chica around during Christmas. There is nothing like celebrating Jesus, Christmas Spirit, and any Holiday with a child. Last week we put our Christmas tree up. This is the first year that we have not bought a real tree. Ever since Zak and I met, we always get a real tree. Although I love the smell of it, I am paranoid about it catching on fire.. plus the dang needles get everywhere! On black friday I got a $250 tree for $80 at Kohls. (Thank you black friday/Kohls)

The tree is up after some fluffing, decorating, and my chica's magic touch! We spend hours decorating the house, listening to Christmas music, and talking about the spirit of Christmas. Ill have detailed decor pics up soon but for now, enjoy the tree decorating.

I took some pictures with the house lights off. I didn't do horrible considering it was my first time photographing Christmas lights.

Chica boo even has her own pink tree that she decorated all by herself. She didn't let me help at all except for printing a picture of her and NaNa for the picture frame ornament. But she knew the picture she wanted. I tried to show her one that I love of her and NaNa but noooo.. and When I moved an ornament, she said

"Mommy.. you can't do that. You can't move other people's ornaments on their tree"

ooppss..

This is my chica boo this year..

Almost the same picture from last year..

R.I.P Hamster Mae

If you remember this post. We got Mady 2 hamster's for her birthday. That was 4 months ago. Today, Mae passed away. If you do not want to read the details of Mae's death but you want to hear how Mady took it, skip down to where it says "this is the important part of this post" right after the Mady & Mae pictures.

R.I.P Mae

 I noticed Saturday night that she was rocking funny while she slept. It scared me for a second but then when Zak picked her up she moved around. I kissed her and put her back in the cage. I don't remember her opening her eyes now that I look back at that moment. Sunday I did not notice her running around in the cage. This is not unusual since she normally runs around in the night. Monday I spent pretty much all day out of the house. I did notice Monday night that the water bottle was still full. This was weird because Friday night is when we filled it up. These little things drink more water than I do. This did alarm me in a weird way but I did not put two and two together. When I did see Mae, her eyes were still not open but again, she was sleeping like normal. This morning, right before school, I noticed her sitting on top of the bedding. This is unusual because she is normally buried. When I looked at her, she started crawling in the cage. Like hunched over, limp like crawling. This was not normal. She is a fast little thing. I made a noise on the top of the cage which usually wakes them up meaning it is time for food. She did nothing. I saw that her cheeks were full and she stayed hunched over. I rubbed her cheeks and she didn't really move much. Then I picked her up. When I picked her up, she stayed hunched over, didn't open her eyes, and I could hear her breathing. It was a clicking sound while she breathed. At this very moment I put her down quickly. I knew if she died in my hands, I would not make it to school and I had to go. I had an end of the quarter project/presentation due.

On my way to school I called my mom to let her know something was wrong and to give her the heads up that when her and Mady arrived at my house, Mae might be dead. I called Zak next. This is when I cried. He was so understanding and nice about it. I know she is a little hamster. I know they don't always live long. I know this is part of having a pet.. really it is part of life. For me though, I love her. I am not a pet person. They smell, make noises, are a responsibility, and so on.. I was afraid of the hamsters when we first got them. After a week, I was loving on this hamster every day. She made me smile. She never once tried to bite anyone. She didn't care if you woke her up, bothered her while she ate, or just held her forever. She was so soft and I loved giving her kisses. I always held her up to my nose where her little whiskers touched me. Honestly, she was my favorite pet since my childhood dog Abby. When I called Zak, while I cried, I told him I had a bad feeling. She wasn't normal. Something was wrong. I asked him to check on her at lunch because I didn't want Mady to find her dead. At lunch he called me. Said he looked up her symptoms and decided to put her into a small box with a towel, some food, and her water. When I got home, Mae was dead. Laying on her back in the saddest looking way. It was very very sad. She had lost fur under her chin and didn't look healthy. Zak seems to think she had some infection. He read that hamsters hide their sickness until it is pretty much to late. It was too late for Mae. Then I realized I was going to have to tell Mady. I told Zak that I couldn't tell her without getting upset. Being the amazing husband he is. He said. don't worry.. Ill handle it. and he did..

This is the important part of this post:

When he got home, I told him that I think he needed to tell her so the night ended on a good note (this was early in the night) instead of telling her later and the night ending on a bad note. He sat her down.. told her.. and she looked at him and said ok. He asked her if she had any questions and she said no. She understood that Mae wasn't here and wasn't coming back. She then said that "Mae was getting to know Abby in heaven." After a little more simple talking, she looked at me.. leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Got in my lap and sat there still and quiet for a moment. Then the night went on.

This chica did not shed one tear. I shedded tons of tears (not in front of her) This chica didn't question why Mae died. I questioned why Mae died. This chica held it together for me I believe. She didn't say anything when she kissed me but she seemed to kiss me to let me know she was alright. It was alright. I was alright.

There are reasons that God has put her in my life besides for me to be a mom. She shows me strength. She shows me acceptance of God's will. She shows me love. Thank you God for my chica.

R.I.P Mae. 

Like Zak said at dinner when he said the prayer.

"Thank you God for allowing Mae to spend her life with us."